Friday, June 8, 2012
Friday, May 4, 2012
Hayatta en zor sey yasamak. Cogu insan sadece varoluyorlar. - Oscar Wilde
"Dünya sadece zevk, eğlence, mutluluk, ihtiras ve bilimum ihtiyacın giderilerek yaşanıp ölünen bir yer midir?" diye bana bir mesaj atarak surekli susturmaya calistigim beynimdeki varolcu canavari costuran canim arkadasim Turgut'a...
Olum genelde bunalim veya kederle iliskilendirilir, oysa benim olme istegini duydugum tek an, asiri mutlu oldugum bir andi.
Bir yaz gunuydu, Bodrum'daydim, yanimda arkadaslarim vardi, annemi opup koklamistim, bizim evde hep birlikte kahvalti yaptiktan sonra denize girmis, havuzda oynamis, cig borek yemis, aksaminda dus bile alamadan tuzlu bikinilerimizin uzerine cektigimiz sortlarla igrenc muziklerin caldigi bir barda delice eglenmis, mekanlar kapaninca Cafe del Mar'in plajinda nargile icerek gunu agartmis, ve hic uyumadan kahvalti yapmak icin bize gitmek uzere 7 kisi bir arabaya dolusmus, Guvercinlik'in yolunu tutmustuk. Kivrilan yollarda deniz kenarinda ilerlerken kendi kendime dedim ki, "Allah'im cok mutluyum. Boyle bir anda olmek istiyorum."
Oyle siradisi sevinc patlamasi yaratacak birsey olmamisti ama kendimi ucsuz bucaksiz hissetmistim o gun. Cok ama cok ozgurdum, her an her yere gidebilir, herseyi yapabilirdim. Cok sevildigini hissetmek insani ozgurlestiren birsey. Seven beni boyle de seviyor zaten diyerek korkmadan kirabiliyor insan tabulari, kafasinin dikine gidebiliyor. O arabadaki herkes bir birimizi cok seviyorduk, o yuzden biz ozerktik, dokunulmazdik, durdurulamazdik. Sevilmek insani yenilmez hissettiriyor. Sanki ucurumun kenarindan kendimi biraksaydim kayalara, bana birsey olmazdi o gun.
O noktadan daha iyiye zaten gidemezdi hayat. Ondan ote mutluluk olamazdi. O an, orada olebilirdim.
Olum nedir ki aslinda? Hayatta ne yaptiysan yanina kaldigi noktadan baska birsey mi olum?
Ne kadar calismissin, ne kadar yukselmissin, ne kadar biriktirmissin, ne fark eder ki oldukten sonra. Hepimizin bir vakti var su dunyada, ozunde, yaptigimiz herseyi kendimizi zil calincaya kadar oyalamak icin yapiyoruz. Kendinizi nasil oyalamayi tercih edersiniz, sevgilinize sokularak mi, yoksa muhasebe kayitlarini ederek mi?
Insana olumu unutturduklari an, hayatinin kontrolunu ele geciriyorlar. O zaman burdaki sayili vaktini hiyar gibi bir ofis hucresinde gecimeye ikna ediyorlar seni. Kisir donguye giriyorsun; calistikca olumu unutuyor, olumu unuttukca calisiyorsun. Olumden en cok korkan kole ruhlardir, onlar da kacip kacip plazalara, uc harfli kisaltmalara indirgenis titrelere saklanirlar.
Hayat ve olum ic icedir, bu yuzdendir ki yasamayanlar, olmeyi de beceremezler.
18. katin klimasini solumus cigerler mi daha guzel curur, yoksa Istanbul sokaklarinin egzozunu soluyan cigerler mi acaba?
Sadece ozguveni tam insanlar becerebilir yasamayi. Cunku onlarin, toplumun onaylarina ihtiyaci yoktur kendi degerlerini bicmek icin. Bir koltuk kapmalarina gerek yoktur kendilerine kendilerini ispat etmek icin. Nitekim, sacini supurge etmeden yukarilara tirmanilmaz, supurge olmus kafada da yasama sevinci kalmaz.
Aslinda evet, dunya zevk, eglence, mutluluk, ihtiras ve bilimum ihtiyacin giderilecek, yasanip olunen bir yer bence. Ama en buyuk ihtiyac sevgi. Ve sevgi oyle bir tezattirki beraberinde hem ozgurluk, hem de sorumluk getiriyor ki, budur beni rayimda tutan, iyi bir insan yapan. Sevdiklerimi mutlu etme istegi. Onlar benim hayatimin anlami, tadi tuzu.
Bir erkek arkadasimla ideolojik bir mesele yuzunden deliler gibi kavga etmistik (zaten hic elle tutulur birsey icin kavga etmezdik, ideolojik kapismalardi bizimkisi). O demisti ki, "Cocugumuz olursa astronot olsun isterim, onu o yonde hazirlayacak sekilde yetirecegim". Ben de kuplere binmistim, sen nasil olur da cocugun hayatina onun icin karar verirsin, bu nasil bir egodur?!!" diye. O da, "Ben insanliga hizmet etsin istiyorum, bundan daha yuce bir misyon olabilir mi?" demisti. Ben de bu dusunce sekillerinin, toplumun insanlari kole hayatlara hapsetmek icin gelistirilmis ego tuzaklari oldugunu savinmustum. Oyle ya, yoksa kim cekecek dunyanin pisligini. Elbet insanlari hayatin guzelliklerinden vazgecirip kolelige razi edecek motivasyonlar yaratmak lazim...
Cildirdim, ne o, birileri bir labratuara benim cocugumun adini verecek yada heykelini dikecek diye o omrunu uzayda yanliz ve hayattin butun guzelliklerinden uzak mi gecirecek?! Dedigim gibi, olum ne yaptiysan yanina kaldigi an. Benim cocugum oldugunde yanina hovardaliklari, asklari, dostluklari, hayal kirklari, ihanetleri, maceraleri, yedigi yemekler, dinledigi muziklar, ettigi danslar, ciktigi daglar, catisinda bira ictigi binalara kalsin isterim, ona buna hizmet yillari degil.
Ona aynen soyle dedim, "Kamyon soforu olsun daha iyi. En azindan otoyol kenarinda uc liraya iki fahiseyle sevisir."
Olmebilmek icin cok mutlu olmak lazim, cok... Aksi helde olum dunyadan yitmekten baska birsey degil.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Why you should call your long lost friends
Turns out we are never too old for parental advise or warnings.
Turns out my mother was right about not running down the stairs.
Hanging out with my ditsy self proved to have its consequences. I was expecting an important phone call (yes, from a boy, but nothing like what you are thinking), and my brains and my phone were scattered around the house as usual. As I was building the first Turkish spacecraft ever in my room, I heard my phone ring downstairs. I took a run for it.
You can guess what happened next. Monday, bloody Monday, Monday, bloody Monday... Oh Bono!
My is back out and I am bruised all over. I have been instructed bed rest for a week and muscle relaxant injections on daily basis. Bed rest is a torment for someone who is as energetic and naughty as myself. I have exhausted all the magazines and DVDs at home. It is super frustrating not being able to dance, especially when the competition is so close. :(( I also have to wear a corset, but I am not gonna complain about that :) I feel pretty, oh so pretty... Oh West Side Story!
As bored as I am, I am starting take this experience as a bliss. In addition to breakfasts in bed and I am receiving flowers & cards and more importantly, phone calls from long lost friends, exs, their families.... I knew that they were always there for me but it had been a long time I had been reminded.
It got me thinking, why does it take some sort of a personal flash news to reconnect with the people who used to be dear to us?
I guess when we lose touch for a certain time, we feel the need to have a valid excuse to get back in touch with them... as if, if we called someone out of the blue, it would make us less cool in their eyes or as if it would be a pathetic gesture !@$%????? Others are intimidated by the possibility of awkward moments that could arise.
I fail to grasp how we got so concerned with our images that friendship and love came secondary? When have we traded sincerity for posing? The irony of is that someone who is so pre-occupied with being cool is obviously NOT a cool person and nothing is cooler than a free-flowing person, freed of cultural norms and inhibitions. And if you are cool indeed, you will tackle those awkward moments just fine.
I am sure that everyone has person whose soul existence in their lives has diminished to a sad phonebook entry. Everyone should to get over themselves, and give them a call.
At least, make sure to make me run down the stairs time to time. 'Cause my spacecraft is far from being complete, so my next news flash won't be any time soon.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
This goes down to my very first crush ever
I used to travel to Sweden about 4-5 times a year to visit my father. First, I would be overjoyed by our reunion, but later the ADD typical to 13 year olds would creep in. I would manage to keep myself busy with the yummy Swedish hot dogs and H&M for a few more days but soon or later I would be overtaken by boredom (which can be blamed for my occasional existential angst). That was when my parents picked up the embarrassing habit of asking their friends, "Can your kid be friends with mine?"
Awkward introductions were followed by awkward acquaintances. A 16 year old nympho, a 9 year old who was desperate for attention and finally a 13 year old "princes" were among some of my friends. I met him in one of these dreaded attempts of my parents to find me friends.
He did not talk much, he was the shy kind, maybe because of his poor Turkish. Our first day together did not require much talking anyways as we spent the entire day on rollercoasters. Our friendship which started with a high dose of adrenalin turned into hours long TV sessions over the next years. We would sit on his bed and zap between The Simpsons and Beavis and Butt-head. Weirdly, those were precious moment of insight to his world moments although we did not talk much:
- A Green Day poster on the wall, he is cool > check
- An astronomy book by his bed; cultured > check
- No football, nor soccer team flags in his room > check
- An electro guitar, he has a garage band > check
- Zaps when he sees Dawson's Creek > check
- Offers me snacks > check :)))
- Gym bag; athletic > check
- His girlfriend's bale shoes from when she was 4!! > :'(
In those awkward moments of sitting on the bed in quiet my heart would skip a beat.
Our families continued to hang out until we are 16 or 17, so I got to see him once or twice until then. He made my heart skip a beat every time.
It was not until I was 28 that we got to hang out again. Much to my pleasure, he turned out to be a great young man. Still handsome, athletic, cool, cultured, and to my surprise, a great conversationalist.
Seeing him after all those years got me thinking of love and the power of it. Love is the source of all motivation and inspiration.
I want to thank him for making me write again.
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Madness need not be all breakdown. It may also be break-through. It is potential liberation and renewal as well as enslavement and existential death.
R. D. Laing
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Ozgehan duy sesimi!
Her hafta hevesle bloguma girdigini, sonra yeni bir sey goremeyip hayal kirikligina ugradigini soyleyip, daha sik yazmam icin beni tesvik eden Ozgehan'a...
Son yillarda Turkiye'deki en trendy koyun Bodrum’daki Guvercinlik olduguna iddaya girerim!
Ustelik o kadar eforsuz, o kadar mutevazi bir uslupla ki Cavalli utanir.
Nostaljinin yukselisi en cok buraya yaramis. 80'lerde bi grup Alman pilini pirtini bir karavana sokusturup egzotik doguyu kesfetmeye yola cikmislar. Nitekim Ege'den disari adim atarlarsa bira gobeklerinin kuculecegini dank edince Guvercinlik'te karavan kolonileri kurup, Efes tokusturmuslar... O gun bugundur de ordalar.
Haliyle, Hans ve Cludia'lar Berlin'den degil de, Bati Almanya'daki IchMöchteFünfKofte, Scheiße, DrOetker falan koyunden geldikleri ve Berlin’de oten duduk sehir merkezinden dalga dalga yayilarak anca 10 senede oralarda duyuldugu icin Guvercinlik’e getirdikleri hersey 70ler ve oncesinden kalma. Yani butum esyalari vintage.
Karavanin birinden muthis New Orleans Jazz parcalari yukseliyor. Balkondan kasketimin altindan sinsice burnumu uzattigimda karavanin bahcesinde 30-40 yildir gunes yediginden artik orjinal rengini kestiremedigim bean bag chairlarin, Eames sandalyelerin uzerine kurulmus, yuksek belli kot sortunun uzerine onden baglamali gomlek giymis, kelebek gozluklerini temizleyen bandanali teyzeler goruyorum. Sanki Nisantasi’ndaki bir café’de asli 1940lardan bir Coca Cola reklami. Amcalarda ise Ataturk’un Tarabya plajinda giydigi speedo/sort mayolardan (resimdekinin biraz daha uzunu) var -hem trendy, hem de vizyoner olsalar gerek-. Su anda buna imkan vermeyeeksiniz ama aslinda gozunuz alisinca ve stil onyargilarindan ozgurlesince, erkek vucuduna en yakisan mayonun bu oldugunu kaniksamaya basliyorsunuz. Sayet, torsonun ucgenligini hic bir stil bunun kadar vurgulamiyor. Bir kac seneye Vogue’a da gelir. Bi de gobekli olmasalar… – Artik saktiklarindan icinlerine cekmek kurtarmiyor da … -
Inanir misiniz, gece kiz tavlamaya giderken hala siyah deri ceket giyen James Dean kilikli delikanlilar var. Sanki her an arabasini koyun isiklarini yukardan goren bir yere cekip, arka koltukta kiz arkadasini goturmeye calisacak. Sanki her an Olivia Newton Those Summer Nights soyleyecek… Sanki ayaklarim topuklu giydigimden degil, dun geceki dar bi sokaktaki acik havada swing partisinde cok tepindigim icin agriyor. Sanki Speedo mayolar degil, benim Birkenstock’larim absurd. (Allah'tan Converse’lerim yanimda, yoksa kendimi baya uncool hissedicem)
Hadi Almanlari ve karta kacan Turklerin vintage esyalarini anladim da, gencleri cozemedim. Tesadufi yada bilincli olarak –ooo piti piti, himmm, galiba tesadufi- hepsi hipsterlar. Annelerinin ve babannelerinin démodé esyalarini rasgele giyip re-modé vaziyette duvar uzerinde cekirdek citliyorlar. Elinden cekidegi alip, otu koydun mu al sana Brooklyn.
Nostaljinin hic bitmemesi, 90'larinsa hic gelmemesi dilegiyle...
Sunday, April 25, 2010
sican kiz arkadasini dusunmenin soguk ruzgari
Bugun size kendini centilmen/galant poz kesen ama iclerinde yontulmamis ayilar bulunan erkeklerden bahsetmek istiyorum.
Uzaktan her davulun sesi hos geldigi gibi bu dumbelek herifler de uzaktan hos gelirler. Torbalarini tasiyip, kapini acar, yemek ismarlar, dogum gunun de en guzel cicekleri gonderir, bayilirsin. Iliskinin ilk aylarinda tam puan alirlar her seyden. Hatta hatta boyle bir adam gercek olamaz dersin... ... ve malesef gercek degildir de.
Nitekim cicim aylari gecip, erkek kaleyi feth ettigi hissine kapildiginda iclerindeki ayilar homurdanmaya baslar. Bir gun birden bir cumlenin sonuna sizi dumura ugratan bir "lan" eklenir , "Naber lan?" Halbuki ayi yavrusu ta kendisidir. Bir kac aya kalmadan o chop sticklerle nazik nazik osami sosunda marine edilmis deniz kestaneli inside-out roll yiyen adamin agzindan kafasini bozan birine "orospu cocugu" cikar, duvara carparsiniz.
Tabakta kalan son parcayi size sormadan alir. Ne de olsa o erkektir, onun daha cok yemeye ihtiyaci vardir, ve o parca onun TABI KI hakkidir. Nezaketen bile karsinidakine sormaya gerek duymaz.
"Vucud sampuaniymis, organik aloavera ozlu Aveda sampuanmis, offmus, pofmus, ona 50 kagit verilir miymis, Haci Sakir de onlarin isini gorurmus, sen enayi miymissin" diyen, eli cebine gitmeyen ukala adam, hic tukurdugunu yalamaktan utanmadan senin dusundan buram buram aloavera kokarak cikar. Ama, o hala kasaya geldiginde bantta yanliz bir Haci Sakir ilerler, senin sampuanlar azaldikca azalir...
Yatagin hangi tarafini istedigini sevgilisine sormaz. O gozune bi yer kestirmistir, orasi kayitsiz sartsiz onundur. Cunku o kendi rahati bozulmadigi surece centilmendir. "Once bayanlar" prensibi sadece kapidan gecerken gecerlidir, cunku kapini tutar ki, arkadan pandigini yerlestirsin.
Her dedigi dogru, hatasini kabul etmez, ukala, cekilmez tipler cikar o boyali kabuklarindan.
Bu arada hala torbalar tasinir, cicekler yollanir elbet. Ne de olsa o bir centilmendir. Yeterki uykusunu kacirmayin, rahatini bozmayin.
Cunku bunlar kiz arkadaslarini "sicarken" hayal ettiklerinde ondan sogurlar.
Bir arkadasim erkeklerin sevgililierini klozet ustunde ikinirken, zort zort osuruken hayal ettiklerinde kizdan soguduklarini soylediklerinde dumur olmustum. Meger sevgisi ve algisi o kadar sig insanlar da mumkunmus.
Bu ayilarin kapaziteleri o kadar limitliymiski, kadinlik anlayislari o kadar sigmis: o minik beyinleridenki kadin terlemezmis, killari uzamazmis, kaka yapmazmis...
Bu adamlari centilmenlikleri tevekkeli bu kadar ozurlu.
Onlar kumandalarina, yataklarinin istedigi taraflarina tutuna dursunlar, ben fosur fosur tuvaleti inletmeye gidiyorum.
Uzaktan her davulun sesi hos geldigi gibi bu dumbelek herifler de uzaktan hos gelirler. Torbalarini tasiyip, kapini acar, yemek ismarlar, dogum gunun de en guzel cicekleri gonderir, bayilirsin. Iliskinin ilk aylarinda tam puan alirlar her seyden. Hatta hatta boyle bir adam gercek olamaz dersin... ... ve malesef gercek degildir de.
Nitekim cicim aylari gecip, erkek kaleyi feth ettigi hissine kapildiginda iclerindeki ayilar homurdanmaya baslar. Bir gun birden bir cumlenin sonuna sizi dumura ugratan bir "lan" eklenir , "Naber lan?" Halbuki ayi yavrusu ta kendisidir. Bir kac aya kalmadan o chop sticklerle nazik nazik osami sosunda marine edilmis deniz kestaneli inside-out roll yiyen adamin agzindan kafasini bozan birine "orospu cocugu" cikar, duvara carparsiniz.
Tabakta kalan son parcayi size sormadan alir. Ne de olsa o erkektir, onun daha cok yemeye ihtiyaci vardir, ve o parca onun TABI KI hakkidir. Nezaketen bile karsinidakine sormaya gerek duymaz.
"Vucud sampuaniymis, organik aloavera ozlu Aveda sampuanmis, offmus, pofmus, ona 50 kagit verilir miymis, Haci Sakir de onlarin isini gorurmus, sen enayi miymissin" diyen, eli cebine gitmeyen ukala adam, hic tukurdugunu yalamaktan utanmadan senin dusundan buram buram aloavera kokarak cikar. Ama, o hala kasaya geldiginde bantta yanliz bir Haci Sakir ilerler, senin sampuanlar azaldikca azalir...
Yatagin hangi tarafini istedigini sevgilisine sormaz. O gozune bi yer kestirmistir, orasi kayitsiz sartsiz onundur. Cunku o kendi rahati bozulmadigi surece centilmendir. "Once bayanlar" prensibi sadece kapidan gecerken gecerlidir, cunku kapini tutar ki, arkadan pandigini yerlestirsin.
Her dedigi dogru, hatasini kabul etmez, ukala, cekilmez tipler cikar o boyali kabuklarindan.
Bu arada hala torbalar tasinir, cicekler yollanir elbet. Ne de olsa o bir centilmendir. Yeterki uykusunu kacirmayin, rahatini bozmayin.
Cunku bunlar kiz arkadaslarini "sicarken" hayal ettiklerinde ondan sogurlar.
Bir arkadasim erkeklerin sevgililierini klozet ustunde ikinirken, zort zort osuruken hayal ettiklerinde kizdan soguduklarini soylediklerinde dumur olmustum. Meger sevgisi ve algisi o kadar sig insanlar da mumkunmus.
Bu ayilarin kapaziteleri o kadar limitliymiski, kadinlik anlayislari o kadar sigmis: o minik beyinleridenki kadin terlemezmis, killari uzamazmis, kaka yapmazmis...
Bu adamlari centilmenlikleri tevekkeli bu kadar ozurlu.
Onlar kumandalarina, yataklarinin istedigi taraflarina tutuna dursunlar, ben fosur fosur tuvaleti inletmeye gidiyorum.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Iliskiler adil olabilir mi, yoksa hepimiz kek olmaya gonullu muyuz?
Her seyin olcusunun manevi oldugu ve herkesin maneviyatinin farkli konustugu bir duzende bir iliskiye nasil adelet bicersin? Bir standart horizon olmazsa tartinin bir kefesindeki sen mi, obur kefesindeki o mu agir basiyor nasil anlarsin?
Yanlis anlasilmasin, guc yada sevgi olcmek derdinde degilim. Ne kadar adil bir iliski oldugunu olcebilmek isterdim ben. Mesala, onunla birlikte olabilmek icin sevdigin insanlardan uzak kalmaya razi olmak ona dogru attigin 10 adim sayilirsa, onun senin istedigin eve tasinmasi kac adim sayilir, yada sayilir mi?
Biri hep 2-3 adim atiyorken, oburu hep 10ar 10ar geliyorsa enayi midir yada lokomotif mi? Ne zaman vericilik sagliksizlasir? 2er adim gelen ne zaman iyice salip 10ar 10ar gelenin butun yolu kat etmesini bekler?
Adil bir birliktelik mumkun mudur yada bir taraf hep hammal midir?
Adalet aradikca iliskiler politiklesiyorsa, en temel hakkin olan esitlik arayisindan vazgecmeyek mi lazim? Ama bu insanin kendine saygisini somurerek kisiyi her gun tuketir. Ote yandan, surekli kurdeleyi cizginin uzerinde tutmaya calistigin bir halat yarisi da her gun insanin yasama sevincinden ve gucunden calarak yipratir.
Adaletin varligi da yoklugu kadar yipratiyorsa, o zaman her sey iki kisilik bir yolda mi tek kisilik bir yolda mi yorulmak istedigimize bakar.
Ikili iliskilerde bir birey nerde biter, oburu nerde baslar diye dusunuyorum. Iliskiler fedakarlik ve ozveri ister. Ortada bir nevi ortak cuvaliniz vardir, insan yeri geldikce kendi cuvalindan alip ona koyar. Bazen hafif toplardir ortak cuvala aktarilan: cani arkadaslariyla cikmak ister ama esini yanliz birakmaya kiyamaz, bazen agir: esi hastadir, varini yogunu onu kurtarmaya harcar. Ama ne zaman insanin kendinden alip iliskiye koyduklari aslinda obur insana gider?
Ve daha onemlisi bu ne gibi sonuclar yaratir?
Insan bunlari dusunmeyerek mi kendine kotuluk eder, yoksa bu cevapsiz sorularla ugrasarak mi?
En klasi aptal olmak, farkindalik insani yiyip bitiren.
Yanlis anlasilmasin, guc yada sevgi olcmek derdinde degilim. Ne kadar adil bir iliski oldugunu olcebilmek isterdim ben. Mesala, onunla birlikte olabilmek icin sevdigin insanlardan uzak kalmaya razi olmak ona dogru attigin 10 adim sayilirsa, onun senin istedigin eve tasinmasi kac adim sayilir, yada sayilir mi?
Biri hep 2-3 adim atiyorken, oburu hep 10ar 10ar geliyorsa enayi midir yada lokomotif mi? Ne zaman vericilik sagliksizlasir? 2er adim gelen ne zaman iyice salip 10ar 10ar gelenin butun yolu kat etmesini bekler?
Adil bir birliktelik mumkun mudur yada bir taraf hep hammal midir?
Adalet aradikca iliskiler politiklesiyorsa, en temel hakkin olan esitlik arayisindan vazgecmeyek mi lazim? Ama bu insanin kendine saygisini somurerek kisiyi her gun tuketir. Ote yandan, surekli kurdeleyi cizginin uzerinde tutmaya calistigin bir halat yarisi da her gun insanin yasama sevincinden ve gucunden calarak yipratir.
Adaletin varligi da yoklugu kadar yipratiyorsa, o zaman her sey iki kisilik bir yolda mi tek kisilik bir yolda mi yorulmak istedigimize bakar.
Ikili iliskilerde bir birey nerde biter, oburu nerde baslar diye dusunuyorum. Iliskiler fedakarlik ve ozveri ister. Ortada bir nevi ortak cuvaliniz vardir, insan yeri geldikce kendi cuvalindan alip ona koyar. Bazen hafif toplardir ortak cuvala aktarilan: cani arkadaslariyla cikmak ister ama esini yanliz birakmaya kiyamaz, bazen agir: esi hastadir, varini yogunu onu kurtarmaya harcar. Ama ne zaman insanin kendinden alip iliskiye koyduklari aslinda obur insana gider?
Ve daha onemlisi bu ne gibi sonuclar yaratir?
Insan bunlari dusunmeyerek mi kendine kotuluk eder, yoksa bu cevapsiz sorularla ugrasarak mi?
En klasi aptal olmak, farkindalik insani yiyip bitiren.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Snobs' Guide to NY
Here is a list of hip Manhattan hangouts from snobby New Yorkers. I really can't take much credit for more than gatheing what other people recommended. I have only been to a few, and those I liked better than others are marked with ***.
Restaurants
Soho
Balthazar *** (for brunch)
subMercer
The Mercer Kitchen
Omen ***
Blue Ribbon Sushi
Downtown Cipriani
Giorgione
West Village
Bar Pitti (I personally wouldn't recommend it)
Joe The Art of Coffee
Mary's Fish Camp
The Spotted Pig
Wallse
Waverly Inn
Chelsea
La Bergamote (Bakery)
Tia Pol
The Empire Diner
Bottino
El Quinto Pino
Tribeca
The Odeon
Upstairs at Bouley Bakery
Nolita
La Esquina ***
Cafe Gitane
Lower East Side
Freemans
Schiller's Liquor Bar
Falai
Katz's Delicatessen
Gramacy
Pure Food and Wine *** - finally a place that treats the high-heeled vegetarians with respect!
Flatiron
City Bakery
Shake Shack
Hell's Kitchen
Market Cafe
Esca
Midtown
Keens Steakhouse
Grand Central Oyster Bar & Restaurant
The Four Season's Restaurant
Zibetto Espresso Bar
Bergdorf Goodman BG Restaurant
Upper East Side
Kai
Bemelmans Bar
E.A.T.
Cafe Sabarsky
Spanish Harlem
Rao's
Shops
Soho
Dean & Deluca
Opening Ceramony
Ted Muehling
BDDW
Pearl River Mart
Jonathan Adler
Kiki de Montparnasse
MoMA Design Store Soho
Seven New York
3.1 Phillip Lim
TASCHEN
Moss
Rick Owens
West Village
Murray's Cheese
Greenwich Letterpress
Strand Book Store
Chelsea
Diane von Furstenberg
Jeffrey New York
Printed Matter
Tribeca
R 20th Century
Lower East Side
Russ & Daughters
Freemans Sporting Club
Nolita
Eillen's Cheesecake
Midtown
Bergdorf Goodman
Upper East Side
Barneys New York
Monday, December 28, 2009
Expat transition tips
Writer: Casey Marriott
Casey Marriott shares tips on making a swift transition to the city by doing like the locals do.
There are only so many times you can endure the haggling of the Grand Bazaar, gaze at the Blue Mosque’s tiles or take a cruise down the Bosphorus, as wonderful as they are. By the time you’ve played tour guide for your parents, siblings and friends, you’re almost on a first name basis with the entrance guards. Once you’ve crossed off all the ‘must see’ sites in Istanbul, how can you enhance your true Turkish cultural experience (besides eating copious amounts of kebabs)? After carefully studying the native habitants in their natural environment (crikey!), we present you with a list to help you cross over from tourist to ex-pat in just 10 easy steps.
Step 1. Befriend a local Manav, Tekel and Eczane.
After moving to a neighborhood, it is vital for survival to befriend the local shopkeepers (I’m talking pay when you like, front door delivery and discounts). Although they may charge a kuruş or two more then the franchise supermarkets, not only are you supporting the locals (which automatically puts you in their good books) but you also get greeted by a friendly face that genuinely cares about your well-being; also a great opportunity to practice your Turkish or at least brush up on your charade skills (particularly funny when attempting to explain embarrassing sicknesses at Eczanes).
Step 2. Jump off the fence and pick a team.
As far as passion goes, football is high on the list of beloved things in Turkey (followed closely by wives and children). Find which club colors suit you best and head to a game; better yet, hang around the football stadium before a match begins and watch the fans rally in their team colors chanting their slogans (the one time public swearing and slagging is tolerated). Beşiktaş, Galatasaray and Fenerbahçe, the 3 biggies in Istanbul, provide particularly entertaining street parties that stretch from the centre of the areas all the way to the stadiums. Fanatical football at its best.
Step 3. Learn Backgammon in a makeshift tea garden.
Look on any main street, back street, side street- any street really - and be sure to find a ‘çaycı’ serving tea to his posse on miniature stools and knee-high tables. Set yourself down, put your phone on the table (trust me, everyone’s doing it) and order a round of tea or ten. Grab a backgammon board (if they don’t have one you’ll probably see someone run off to grab one) and begin the war of the white and black checkers and luck of the dice; first to five wins. This is an ideal time to chain smoke.
Step 4. Leave food out for the street cats.
No street is short of the usual motley crew of stray cats, which are generally quite well looked after by the surrounding inhabitants of their chosen hangout. Now you know why there are piles of clumpy unidentified food sorts left on the streets. Adopt your own cat gang and find yourself some street loving. You don’t even need to bother with fancy pricey cat food (as if a cat can tell it’s eating seasoned wild salmon anyhow); these cats eat anything from pasta to bread to scraps.
Step 5. Slow it down to a snail’s pace.
You can spot a tourist in Istanbul by the fast speed at which they walk, coupled with gold medal-worthy twists, turns, and swerves as they streamline through the crowd. But when in Rome, as the saying goes, take the time to stroll down the large boulevards stopping whenever and wherever you please (smack bang in the middle of the pathway with three of your friends linking arms is fine) to gaze at a shop front or greet even more friends to link arms with. Take the time to smell the roses, or in this city, the delicious roasting chestnuts!
Step 6. Go public with a loud lovers tiff.
It’s not all that uncommon to see a couple having a massive row in a shop which usually results in ‘person A’ (let’s not be sexist now) storming off leaving ‘person B’ to chase pleading ‘aşkım aşkım’. By now, your resistance to the Turkish charm has probably crumbled and you’ve found yourself a lover (or possibly the reason you’re here in the first place). Take yourselves to a crowded area and create a scene worthy of an Oscar.
Step 7. Make out passionately in a cafe.
Either the air in Istanbul is charged with love or everybody has pent up passion from the restrictions of living with parents until a late age. Either way, PDA is certainly not an issue in this country, as you will discover at your local cafe ‘with a view’ of the couple in the corner practically sitting in each other’s laps, tongues down each other’s throats. Tie this in with Step 6 and you’ve killed two birds with one stone.
Step 8. Join a protest.
It doesn’t take long to realize there are countless things to protest about here (unlike our home countries where everything is already regularized and legalized to the teeth). Quite often you will see groups of people swarming up and down Istiklal chanting and waving banners (the place to ‘be seen’ for protesting). Tag along and support their causes; the presence of numerous police armed with guns, helmet and gas masks will surely give you a feeling of living on the edge.
9. Drink Efes
Need I say more? Besides, I’m on a word limit and hopefully will get free beer for such blatant advertising.
10. Get up close and personal.
Whilst we were raised to never ask ‘those questions’ about age, weight and wages, such boundaries are relatively non-existent in Turkey. Once you recover from the initial shock of having your belly rolls pinched, being drilled about your salary and asked your age (all within the first 5 minutes of meeting someone of course), you may even find the breakdown of such barriers refreshing and even appreciate the intimate environment it creates. When you finally find yourself becoming the drillmaster, you will truly know that the integration process is complete.
Casey Marriott shares tips on making a swift transition to the city by doing like the locals do.
There are only so many times you can endure the haggling of the Grand Bazaar, gaze at the Blue Mosque’s tiles or take a cruise down the Bosphorus, as wonderful as they are. By the time you’ve played tour guide for your parents, siblings and friends, you’re almost on a first name basis with the entrance guards. Once you’ve crossed off all the ‘must see’ sites in Istanbul, how can you enhance your true Turkish cultural experience (besides eating copious amounts of kebabs)? After carefully studying the native habitants in their natural environment (crikey!), we present you with a list to help you cross over from tourist to ex-pat in just 10 easy steps.
Step 1. Befriend a local Manav, Tekel and Eczane.
After moving to a neighborhood, it is vital for survival to befriend the local shopkeepers (I’m talking pay when you like, front door delivery and discounts). Although they may charge a kuruş or two more then the franchise supermarkets, not only are you supporting the locals (which automatically puts you in their good books) but you also get greeted by a friendly face that genuinely cares about your well-being; also a great opportunity to practice your Turkish or at least brush up on your charade skills (particularly funny when attempting to explain embarrassing sicknesses at Eczanes).
Step 2. Jump off the fence and pick a team.
As far as passion goes, football is high on the list of beloved things in Turkey (followed closely by wives and children). Find which club colors suit you best and head to a game; better yet, hang around the football stadium before a match begins and watch the fans rally in their team colors chanting their slogans (the one time public swearing and slagging is tolerated). Beşiktaş, Galatasaray and Fenerbahçe, the 3 biggies in Istanbul, provide particularly entertaining street parties that stretch from the centre of the areas all the way to the stadiums. Fanatical football at its best.
Step 3. Learn Backgammon in a makeshift tea garden.
Look on any main street, back street, side street- any street really - and be sure to find a ‘çaycı’ serving tea to his posse on miniature stools and knee-high tables. Set yourself down, put your phone on the table (trust me, everyone’s doing it) and order a round of tea or ten. Grab a backgammon board (if they don’t have one you’ll probably see someone run off to grab one) and begin the war of the white and black checkers and luck of the dice; first to five wins. This is an ideal time to chain smoke.
Step 4. Leave food out for the street cats.
No street is short of the usual motley crew of stray cats, which are generally quite well looked after by the surrounding inhabitants of their chosen hangout. Now you know why there are piles of clumpy unidentified food sorts left on the streets. Adopt your own cat gang and find yourself some street loving. You don’t even need to bother with fancy pricey cat food (as if a cat can tell it’s eating seasoned wild salmon anyhow); these cats eat anything from pasta to bread to scraps.
Step 5. Slow it down to a snail’s pace.
You can spot a tourist in Istanbul by the fast speed at which they walk, coupled with gold medal-worthy twists, turns, and swerves as they streamline through the crowd. But when in Rome, as the saying goes, take the time to stroll down the large boulevards stopping whenever and wherever you please (smack bang in the middle of the pathway with three of your friends linking arms is fine) to gaze at a shop front or greet even more friends to link arms with. Take the time to smell the roses, or in this city, the delicious roasting chestnuts!
Step 6. Go public with a loud lovers tiff.
It’s not all that uncommon to see a couple having a massive row in a shop which usually results in ‘person A’ (let’s not be sexist now) storming off leaving ‘person B’ to chase pleading ‘aşkım aşkım’. By now, your resistance to the Turkish charm has probably crumbled and you’ve found yourself a lover (or possibly the reason you’re here in the first place). Take yourselves to a crowded area and create a scene worthy of an Oscar.
Step 7. Make out passionately in a cafe.
Either the air in Istanbul is charged with love or everybody has pent up passion from the restrictions of living with parents until a late age. Either way, PDA is certainly not an issue in this country, as you will discover at your local cafe ‘with a view’ of the couple in the corner practically sitting in each other’s laps, tongues down each other’s throats. Tie this in with Step 6 and you’ve killed two birds with one stone.
Step 8. Join a protest.
It doesn’t take long to realize there are countless things to protest about here (unlike our home countries where everything is already regularized and legalized to the teeth). Quite often you will see groups of people swarming up and down Istiklal chanting and waving banners (the place to ‘be seen’ for protesting). Tag along and support their causes; the presence of numerous police armed with guns, helmet and gas masks will surely give you a feeling of living on the edge.
9. Drink Efes
Need I say more? Besides, I’m on a word limit and hopefully will get free beer for such blatant advertising.
10. Get up close and personal.
Whilst we were raised to never ask ‘those questions’ about age, weight and wages, such boundaries are relatively non-existent in Turkey. Once you recover from the initial shock of having your belly rolls pinched, being drilled about your salary and asked your age (all within the first 5 minutes of meeting someone of course), you may even find the breakdown of such barriers refreshing and even appreciate the intimate environment it creates. When you finally find yourself becoming the drillmaster, you will truly know that the integration process is complete.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Egypt
We first intended on going to Morocco as three girls and decided recruit a big intimidating guy as a safety net. We needed the kind that would crumble the enemy with his gaze, deafen them with his voice and behead them with a single slap.
Many fearless man applied from all around the world. Some had lost an eye, some had survived Saddam Hussein's gas attacks but had mutated into the ugliest, scariest faces ever seen. They were the toughest warriors alive.
Finally, it boiled down to the two most intimidating candidates:
The Butcher aka Marcus
vs
Deniz aka Marco.
To determine who is a better fit for the job, we held a contest. Both man were put in the Sahara with no food nor water and they had to survive 10 days fighting against the 1000 terrorists we released which were commissioned to kill them.
Marcus never returned...
One of our travel buddies, Zeynep, decided a man such as Marco could not be trusted with three woman, and back out. Hearing of Marco's victorious but vicious survival in the Sahara, Morocco closed its doors on us.
Thank God Mossad is omnipresent. They knew about our ban out of Morocco and they proposed to dump us in Egypt for free, hoping we would cause some trouble there. We agreed, but all we had in mind was a calm vacation. ;)
Sharm El Sheikh
Sharm trascended our expectations.
Some people, who I suppose were inexperienced travelers, had warn us that Egypt was ugly, dirty and dangerous.
Sharm was quite the contrary.
Deniz (yes, there were two Denizes in the group) and I could have traveled to Sharm safely as two girls. Marco was just a bonus. I would even feel comfortable traveling alone. Marco didn't seem to agree. I tried really hard to steal a night alone but under Marco's jurisdiction, I didn't stand a chance. Afterall, he was commissioned to overwatch us. It of course did not help that I was dating one of this good friends.
The Red Sea was abundant with fish. Marco and I decided to to have a closer look.
Cairo
Cairo was all the things they warned us about. It is a pity such an important heritage is in the hands of the Egyptians. They do not seem to realize what they have is worth. The whole area around the pyramids were trashed. I don't mean a few plastic bottles here and there, I am talking of big city dumps.
There were no signs anywhere explaining the history of the monuments. Most of the time we tried to pretend we belonged with the American tourists who had hired an Egyptologist to show them around.
The museums and the monuments were badly attended. People could freely climb on the pyramids. No pictures were allowed inside, but no one was there to surveille.
From far Cairo may look like Manhattan, but this is what is it like when you are inside.
Many fearless man applied from all around the world. Some had lost an eye, some had survived Saddam Hussein's gas attacks but had mutated into the ugliest, scariest faces ever seen. They were the toughest warriors alive.
Finally, it boiled down to the two most intimidating candidates:
The Butcher aka Marcus vs
Deniz aka Marco.
To determine who is a better fit for the job, we held a contest. Both man were put in the Sahara with no food nor water and they had to survive 10 days fighting against the 1000 terrorists we released which were commissioned to kill them.
Marcus never returned...
One of our travel buddies, Zeynep, decided a man such as Marco could not be trusted with three woman, and back out. Hearing of Marco's victorious but vicious survival in the Sahara, Morocco closed its doors on us.
Thank God Mossad is omnipresent. They knew about our ban out of Morocco and they proposed to dump us in Egypt for free, hoping we would cause some trouble there. We agreed, but all we had in mind was a calm vacation. ;)
Sharm El Sheikh
Sharm trascended our expectations.
Some people, who I suppose were inexperienced travelers, had warn us that Egypt was ugly, dirty and dangerous.
Sharm was quite the contrary.
Deniz (yes, there were two Denizes in the group) and I could have traveled to Sharm safely as two girls. Marco was just a bonus. I would even feel comfortable traveling alone. Marco didn't seem to agree. I tried really hard to steal a night alone but under Marco's jurisdiction, I didn't stand a chance. Afterall, he was commissioned to overwatch us. It of course did not help that I was dating one of this good friends.
The Red Sea was abundant with fish. Marco and I decided to to have a closer look.
Cairo
Cairo was all the things they warned us about. It is a pity such an important heritage is in the hands of the Egyptians. They do not seem to realize what they have is worth. The whole area around the pyramids were trashed. I don't mean a few plastic bottles here and there, I am talking of big city dumps.
There were no signs anywhere explaining the history of the monuments. Most of the time we tried to pretend we belonged with the American tourists who had hired an Egyptologist to show them around.
The museums and the monuments were badly attended. People could freely climb on the pyramids. No pictures were allowed inside, but no one was there to surveille.
From far Cairo may look like Manhattan, but this is what is it like when you are inside.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Thank you Matt!
My wonderful friend Matt, who lives in SFO, composed a list of stuff do while you are there. It was so long, he couldn't post it as a comment, so I am publishing it here on his behalf.
Matt (and all other friends in SFO), I am sorry I didn't call you guys up. My boyfriend informed me we were seeing friends the very last minute. I thought we were doing a "couple trip" until then. So, I ended up meeting his friend, instead of you guys. :( I missed you all, too!
"Hi Duygu, I'm glad to hear you're well on your way to falling in love with CA :) I have a ton of more suggestions to add, but I'll just add a few for now:
+3 for Big Sur: (1) For those interested in a magical beach view, check out "Point Lobos" especially in the winter when the crashing waves spray 50-75 feet in the air and one can watch seals sunbathe and dive for meals. (2) My favorite beach there is "Julia Pfeiffer" where one can watch the sunset through tunnels bored in the cliffs by waves: beachPhhttp://www.flickr.com/photos/andrewmeyers/3045691058/ (3) For those in the mood for a more committed adventure, pack your sleeping bag, tent, backpacking stove and hit the trail our of Big Sur state campground up to "Sykes Hotsprings" -- a 10 mile, beautiful hike through redwoods, bay trees, madrone and CA oak to a natural hot spring hidden deep up the valley. Soak your soar body and jump in the invigorating cold stream!
Further North on Highway 1: you come to "Half Moon Bay" area, which is a rather cute and fun town. I also enjoy another town called "Princeton by the sea" ~15 mi further north. "Ketch Joanne" is a great greasy spoon and has delicious fish and ships. If you're in the mood for something a little classier there's "Sam's Chowder House" a 1/4 mile south of town -- yummy local seafood! The world-famous "Maverick's Beach" -- home to some of the world's biggest surfing waves (only a few times a year) is just a short hike over the ridge from town -- this is one of my favorite beaches in CA.
In SF proper: Soo much good stuff in this city. Here are a few highlights:
Eats: (1) "Cha-Cha-Cha" in the Mission (a historically Latino neighborhood) is a lively old-time SF restaurant with strong Cuban influences. (2) down the street is "Weird Fish" -- a fun spot to get great little plates. (3) those willing to pay more can have a classy Another cool stop is "Tataki Sushi" http://www.tatakisushibar.com/ which is (as far as I know) the first (and only?) 100% sustainably fished sushi restaurant! (5) "San Tung" in the Inner Sunset has the best Chinese-style chicken wings you will ever have. (6)"Brother's Korean BBQ" on Geary street is fantastic -- you cook yourself over mesquite wood coals -- delish!
Drinks: (1) "Bruno's" and (2) "Medjool" are great, big clubs in the Mission. Check out the (3) “Elbo Room” for a more relaxed space, or really any other bar in the popular 16th street and Valencia Street area. The Marina district is also known for its nightlife – more the preppy type in general. I like (4) “MatrixFilmore” and (5) “City Tavern” just 1 block down Filmore Street.
Fun: (1) "Planet Granite" rock climbing gym in the Presidio looks onto the Golden Gate bridge and has great facilities. (2) "SFMOMA" is a wonderful museum and always worth a stop. (3) "alemany farmers market" is super colorful and has amazing local food -- one really gets a feel of south-american and south-east-asian and californian growers all rolled into one place. (4) "Dolores Park" is a great place to hang when the weather is nice -- enjoy the hippies, random jam groups, and the guy who sells gourmet mushroom truffles: http://www.yelp.com/biz/truffle-guy-san-francisco.
North still of SF: The "Marin Headlands" is an incredibly beautiful area, and soooo close to one of the major metropolitan centers of the US. It was all military land housing secret bases through the cold-war era (many of which you can visit in their decomposing states), but now it's national park land. I recommend visiting the "Point Bonita Lighthouse" http://www.nps.gov/goga/pobo.htm which is only open like 12:30-3:30 Sat-Mon. Teetering on the edge of its own personal island cliff, it has ridiculous views of the ocean and SF bay and harkens back to an older age. If you want to stay in the area for cheap, check out the "Marin Headlands Hostel" http://www.norcalhostels.org/marin/which is very simple, but good.
A little further north and you'll come to the world-famous "Muir Woods" which is one of the closest places to SF to walk among what's left of the ancient redwoods. Some of these trees are 3000 years old. This area is very accessible, with almost disney-land-like paved pathways. For those more adventuresome, hike the "Dipsea Trail" all the way to "Stinson Beach" -- about 10 miles round trip but an absolutely beautiful hike through open hills covered with golden grass and oak trees, to cool valleys filled with ferns and moss-covered bay trees. Once at Stinson you can eat at the "Parkside Cafe" for a tasty stop. The beach is just a walk through the park from there."
Monday, November 23, 2009
Soyle iki tane bezi poposunun arasina kacmis yagli pehlivan diyecegim, resmi gorup bunu okumaya baslayanlarin birden istahi kacicak. Ama iki dakka sabredin, sonra hep birlikte muradimiza erecegiz.
Gelelim yagli pehlivanlarimiza... Iki tanesi yavrum Allah girismisler. Bez donu yakalamakmis, calim atmakmis, bunlar hikaye. Eller ensede. Kim kelleyi koltuk altina alirsa, oburune hukmedecek. Bir insanin bedenini kontrol etmenin en kolay yolu kafasini yakalamak.
Filmlerde adam sol eliyle kurbanin saclarindan tutar, sonra obur eliylede burnunu dagitir... Cunku kafasini kontrol ettimi zavallicik bir yerlere kacamaz. Belki de harbi erkek kisa sacli olur kulturu, eski medeniyetlerde savasci rolundeki erkegin saldiriya daha kapali olabilmek icin saclarini kesmesinden gelmektedir?
Amcam Sigmund Freud'un bana verdigi yetkiye dayanarak diyorum ki, erkeklerin kadinlarda uzun sac sevmesinin altinda bu vucuda hukmetme, kadina sahip olma ic gudusu yatar. Hatta uzun sac torpulenmis bir fetistir. Gizliden gizliye obsesif ve saldirgan bi yani da vardir.
Oh be, soyledim... Incilerimi sactim yine. Burasi benim blogum degil mi, atis serbest!
"Atesli" posterlerde adam kadinin sacini arkadan parmaklarina dolar ve ceker. Kadin savunmasizdir, adam ona sahip olmustur. Bence uzun sac gunluk hayatta bile derinlerde bir yerlerde erkeklerde bu cagrisimi yaptigindan kadinlarda uzun sac severler.
Son olarak DuyguLabs'deki kucuk sample grubumdaki once 10 kere calkalayarak, sonra 10 kere particle acceleratorimda dondurerek yapi taslarina ayirdigim erkeklere bakinca bir de sunu fark ettim, ne kadar playboy, o kadar uzun sac duskunu. Yani ne kadar ava cikiyorsa, o kadar cok kadinda uzun sac ariyor. Elinde mizrak, onunde bir yaprakla geyik pesinde kosan atalari uzaklardan onlara "kolay yem" mi diyor belki? Bilemedim.
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